


I Miss You

by iamfrenchy



Series: 5SOS and Girls [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer, 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), 5SOS
Genre: Ashton is cute, F/M, Tour life, famousSOS, missing each other, texts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 21:24:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3223970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamfrenchy/pseuds/iamfrenchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a series of texts that Ashton sends, Lia gets flashbacks to their relationship and she remembers how much she loves Ashton and how much he loves her. They have been through a lot together and distance is their worst enemy.</p><p>Based on a text post I saw on Tumblr!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> This was seriously inspired by a post I found on Tumblr, it is heavily inspired and used in this fic and if the girl that made the post doesnt like this, I will remove it! 
> 
> http://irwie-punk-rock-yet.tumblr.com/post/107931786056/ashton-misses-you-while-on-tour-5textsos-why

_I miss the way you try to steal my clothes without me noticing_

“Lia!” I heard the shout come from the bedroom and I stilled in front of the kettle, waiting for him to say something more.

“Yeah?” I shouted back, I knew what he would want but hopefully I could be wrong and it wasn’t the shirt and bandana I was wearing that he was looking for.

“Where’s my black sling back and my red bandana?” His voice was coming closer and I wanted to hide away but I just turned around to face him as he came into the kitchen.

“You mean these?” I asked and his eyes found the red bandana tied over my hair and the sling back on, I had my bright red crop top on underneath, seeing as the sling back was ripped to pieces by Ashton.

“Why are you wearing those, I wanted to wear those today” He sighed, he still had a smile on his lips and I shrugged, smiling when he wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my hands around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Well I’m wearing them now, you can’t have them” I decided and he shook his head, leaning down and covering my lips in a soft kiss, I sighed, I could never get used to how gentle he was, my hand came over and I held his cheek, the stubble on his cheek tickling my cheek.

“It’s a good thing I like them on you more than I like wearing them” He sighed, he was shirtless and I looked down at how wonderfully he was built, giving him a cheeky smile.

“Well I like them on me too because then you get to walk around like this” He shouted a laugh, shaking his head at me.

“You’ll get me in trouble, I’m going to be late, I should get going” He pulled away from me and I shook my head, holding on tighter to him.

“Nope, you can’t, I made breakfast and coffee and I made flippen pancakes, the ones you like so much” He laughed when I started to follow him, jumping onto him and he pulled me towards the room, he was laughing so hard that we collapsed onto the ground of our room.

“Flippen pancakes?” He asked and I nodded, he turned around from where he was laying on the ground and pulled me so that I laid out on his shirtless chest and I smiled down at him, it was so nice to have him home for a while.

“Yeah, chocolate chips and everything, you’re home for the first time in forever, I get to spoil you” He smiled and leaned over, kissing my nose, making me scrunch my nose at him and he laughed, doing the same.

“I missed you, so much” I shook my head at him.

“No, you missed my pancakes”

“Yeah, you’re right, the pancakes were missed more than you”

 

_I miss the way you concentrate when you’re cooking_

I could feel him watching me, I could feel his hazel eyes follow my every move and I wanted to turn around and ask him what he was watching but I just so busy with this, I couldn’t get this wrong or I’d flunk this.

“Ash, hand me that bowl, please?” I held my hand out and he placed the bowl I had asked for in my hand and I started to slowly fold in the egg whites into the batter, making sure that the air bubbles stayed intact to make sure that it would be a soft and fluffy cake when it was done baking.

“You’re going to hurt yourself with concentrating that hard” He spoke up and I flashed my eyes up at him, the batter now in the baking tray and I sighed when I placed it into the oven.

“I need to get this right or I flunk, I don’t want to flunk this” He pushed himself up from where he was leaning in the doorframe, he shook his head and wrapped his arms around my waist and I rested my head against his chest, I was full of flour and eggs and I had been baking the whole day while he was away at interviews and meetings.

“You could never flunk cooking or baking, you’re amazing. You’ll see, everything you’ve baked today looks so good” My eyes flicked to the living room table that had everything stacked, from pastry to pies, everything that I could possibly get in my exam in a few days and I laughed.

“You’re just flattering me because you want to eat all of that”

“Not all of that and Luke asked to come over when he heard you were baking and then Mikey and Cal said they would be coming over to be taste test dummies”

“Well they are dummies” He giggled and I loved that sound, I looked up to him and he gave me a bright smiled, his eyes bright and full and I couldn’t believe I got to love him and he loved me back, his large hands were wrapped around me and I smiled when he leaned down to catch my lips in a sweet kiss.

“You ate one of the pies!” I shouted when I tasted the sweet raspberry filling that I gave one of the small pies and he shook his head, eyes wide and innocent.

“You can’t know that”

“Ash, I can taste it, come here, let me make sure” He shook his head and I pulled his head closer, kissing him and tasting again, nodding when I pulled away.

“You couldn’t wait two minutes” He shook his head and I laughed.

“Luke is coming over and he’s a fucking vacuum, if I don’t take now, I’ll never get any of it”

“Hey, no swearing” I scolded and he shook his head, his curls going all over his head and I shook my head.

“You need a haircut, seriously, Ash” He pulled away from me, appalled and shaking his head at me.

“Never, I’m a mountain warrior and these locks hold all of my powers”

 

_The way you hate it when I scare you when you aren’t paying attention_

Ashton had been on tour for months now, four to be exact, and it was driving me crazy, he was so far away now and the time differences were killing us. Between my classes at the culinary school and the practical aspects of the course and his busy schedule of interviews and performances, we were struggling to get to each other, to get to a time where we could talk.

It had been almost a week since we’ve spoken properly, we were texting but it took ages for messages to come through between us, he would send one at two in the morning here but then it would be one in the afternoon for him or I would send one and he would get it when he wakes up.

It was driving me mad with missing him and I couldn’t believe I put myself through all of this, voluntarily. But then I saw Ashton in an interview they did that day and he would smile and talk and he sounded so excited for the band and what they got to do and I couldn’t get mad at him, not when he was following his dreams and I got to see that happen and I was always the first person he called when something amazing happened. I always sat and watched the interviews and award shows, waiting for the call when we would shout out how excited we were that they had won another one and I always made sure that I sent him a FaceTime for when he came from a show and he would always make sure I had a text for when I woke up and things were a little better when I knew that I was on his mind just as much as he was on mine.

“Ash! I hope the show was amazing, I’m sure you banged those drums like crazy. If you know what I mean. I miss you so much, Ashton, so much but only a month and we’ll see each other again. I love you Ashton Fletcher Irwin” I ended the message, he would be getting off the stage in a few minutes and he always checked his phone and I hoped that he would get that.

I dropped onto the couch, it was way past midnight but I couldn’t get to sleep and I found myself on the couch with Netflix running but I was reading through Tumblr on my phone more than what I was watching Sherlock.

It was silent for about an hour before I heard the shuffling, the door creaking and someone shoving against it, cursing at it and my blood ran cold, someone was breaking in.

I slowly dropped from the couch, grabbing the cricket bat that Ashton always kept near the door and I flicked off the light in the hallway to the door and I stood waiting, my breath deep and laboured, I couldn’t believe this was happening now. Ashton is going to flip his shit when he heard of this, I’ll never hear the end of this.

The door flew open and someone shouted a cry of victory and I wanted to say that this guy was a horrible burglar, he was making the most noise possible. I heard him step through the door and I hid behind the wall and waited for him to pass me and when he finally crossed where I was standing I came out swinging, hitting him on the back and I heard him groan.

“LIA!” I heard him shout and I paused, I knew that voice. I frowned, my hand reaching out and flicking on the light for the hallway, Ashton coming into view.

“Ash?” I asked and he turned around, trying to rub at his back and he nodded.

“Yeah! What the hell was that?” He asked and I started to laugh, hysterical all of a sudden and I dropped onto the floor, the cricket bat falling at my side.

“You scared me” I shouted back to him and he shook his head at me, dropping down beside me, finally seeing the humour in the situation.

“If I wasn’t so glad to see you, I would be so mad at you” I groaned and he gave me that shit eating grin and I sighed, dropping down onto his lap.

“I couldn’t take being away from you any longer, we have the week off and I know you can’t come out so I came to you”

“Why are you so fucking cute?”

“I don’t know, but I do know I love you” He leaned down and crushed me into a hug, well there was kissing but the hug was wonderful.

“I love you too, did you get my FaceTime?” I asked and he smiled again, pulling back from our hug.

“Yeah, I love those, I look forward to them, everyday”

“Then I’m glad but Ashton if you scare me like that ever again, I’m kicking your ass”

“You and what army?”

“5SOS family, they like me more than you”

“I hate how true that is”

**

I was deep in thought, the recipe books strewn across my lap as I read through them, I hated this part of my course and I hoped it would never come to ever knowing these recipes at the tips of my fingers.

I heard some shuffling but shrugged it off, my hand flipping to another page and I grabbed my glass, taking a sip when suddenly I heard a huge shout and the sip I had taken was spit out.

“ASHTON!” I shouted, my heart rushing and when I turned around to stare at him over the couch he was on the floor, crawling from laughing so hard.

“It wasn’t that funny” I huffed, wiping the water from the pages and I heard Ashton get up from the floor, his head resting next to mine and he kissed my cheek and then my neck.

“I’m mad at you” I grumbled and he sighed, his giggle in my ear and I wanted to smile but I was pretending so hard here.

“No you’re not, you love me”

“Only because I’m too invested in this thing and I live with you”

“Mean” He grumbled and I laughed, leaning to the side and giving him a smile, quickly kissing his pouting lips.

“Love you, Irwin”

 

_The way you scrunch up your nose when you read your favourite book_

“You always do that” Ashton spoke through the screen and I looked up from my book, my eyebrows furrowing and I watched from my side of the screen where he was sitting with a guitar in his lap.

We always did this when we had the time, we would Skype for the whole day when Ashton got the day off and I didn’t have to go to classes, it was something that didn’t always happen and it wasn’t always possible with internet for him but when it did happen it made me happy. It was like he was back home when we did this and he was doing his own thing in another room and I got to do my own thing but we always knew about each other and when we felt like it we could talk and laugh together.

He had to work on a song today but I was off and we decided that it was a Skype day today and I had grabbed my book when he started writing,  I would try to help but mostly he just wanted me to tell him if I didn’t like anything so I spent the writing time lost in my books, in another world.

“What do I always do?” I asked and he scrunched his nose at me and I frowned at him.

“You always scrunch your nose when you read, like whatever the main guy or girl just did made you unhappy”

“I do?”

“Yeah, it’s really cute. You do it especially when you read those thick Mortal Instrument books”

“Yeah well Jace can be an asshole sometimes, just like someone else I know” He laughed when I dropped the hint, shaking his head at me.

“I miss you, you know that right?” His voice had grown soft and I sighed, closing my book and dropping it down beside me, focusing on him, we hadn’t been doing other things for long but I just wanted to spend the rest of the day talking.

“I miss you too, so much. Just a few more weeks and then we get to hang out and irritate each other again”

“And then you can scrunch your nose at me all you want”

“I already do that, see” I scrunched my nose again and he did the same, making the both of us laugh and I shook my head, even through a screen and thousands of miles apart, he was still so beautiful and could still make my stomach clench when he talked to me.

 

_I miss the way you always run your hands through my hair_

I tugged at the curls, our lips moving against each other, fast and passionately and I wanted him closer, I pulled again and he groaned and I smiled, I loved that sound.

“I missed you” He whispered against my lips and I nodded, kissing again and I tugged at him again, his hands were roaming over my body and I wanted him closer, even closer than him and I tugged again and he finally got the memo.

“Impatient” He groaned against me and I grabbed at his shirt, pulling at it and he pulled it off, his body coming into view, the drumming had done wonders for him and his strong arms were wrapped around me again and I found my hands in his long hair again.

“I haven’t seen or felt you in months, Ashton, we need to fix that” He laughed, deep and rough and I couldn’t wait any longer, tugging him closer and my fingers wrapped in his hair, the soft strands between my fingers and I heard him moan when I gave a little harder tug and I gasped when I felt him against me.

**

“You’re going to pull out all of my hair if you keep doing that” Ashton laughed from beside me, we were wrapped around each other, our legs entwined with each other and I sighed at how close we were, I could feel all of him against me, his arms around me, his soft fingers lightly running down my back as I laid out against his chest and I softly drummed my fingers against his chest, his heartbeat the best rhythm.

“You like the hair pulling, that’s why they’re so long” I pointed out and he chuckled, shaking his head.

“No, it’s because I’m a mountain warrior” I laughed, moving my hand to run through the tangled mess he had on his head, my hands had been quite busy in there a while ago.

“If you say so, baby” When I looked up at him, his eyes had closed and he was leaning into my hand and I smiled, I knew he liked it and he missed this, hell, I missed this. I missed being this close to him, I missed having him around.

“Please don’t leave again” I whispered and I thought he had been asleep, his eyes flashing open and he looked down at me.

“I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to, I wish you’d come with sometime”

“I still have six months left at the institute, I can join you as soon as I’m done” I offered and his eyes widened.

“Are you serious?”

“Only if you are”

“You’d honestly come on tour with me?”

“I’d have to be mad to say no, travelling with my best friends and boyfriend, how can I say no?”

“I’d have to ask management but I’m sure you’ll get to come, I wouldn’t leave you here if you could come with” He leaned down, his lips covering my own and I laughed.

“You’d grow tired of having me around all the time”

“Never, you’re amazing and when you come with, I’d get to have you like this all the time” His voice had grown rough and deep and I always reeled at how amazing he sounded when his voice dropped like that, how passionate he could get in a few seconds, at how he could go from adorable puppy to this wonderful creature that pulled all of that out of me, and more.

 

_I miss the way your body feels pressed up against mine when you finally fall asleep_

I pressed against him, he was back again for a few days, their Australian leg of the tour finally in Sydney and I got to see him for the few days that they were here.

“Lia, go to sleep” He whispered and my head rested against his chest, his heartbeat in my ear and his hand running through my soft blonde hair and I could feel myself dropping into the abyss. We had stayed up all night, talking and laughing, we didn’t even do anything sexual, just spent the night with each other, talking about everything that was going on. Ashton excited to have me join him on tour in two months and I couldn’t deny that I was beyond excited.

Everything was dropping into their places, Ashton and I had been dating for so long now, almost two years and he had been on tour for most of it and I had been missing him so much. Sure, we had our fights and we had gotten close to breaking up and writing off the relationship but then I’d find myself sobbing into my pillow and he would call, his voice soft in my ear as he apologized or listened to me apologize and he would say that he would fight for us, he would make sure that we stayed together because he would never get over us, he would never find anyone as amazing as me and I could agree, how could anyone ever compete with Ashton, with his wonderful smile and amazing-ness.

There were no words to describe how amazing Ashton really was.

 

_And the way you always seem to have me wrapped around your finger_

“Ash, could you please get me a soda?” I was beyond lazy, I was next level lazy today and Ashton was more than willing to just do whatever I was asking of him.

“Sure” He got up from his practise drum set, going over to the snack table, Luke and Cal snickering at Ash as he came back, handing me the bottle and I took a swig off the cool drink before going to lay like I had before, with my legs up in the air, much like Cal did most of the time.

“What?” Ashton asked and Mikey shook his head at him.

“If it was anyone but Lia, we’d be taking the piss out of you, right now” Mikey was spending too much time around the 1D boys, it’s official.

“Why?” Ash asked again, he had dropped down onto the couch next to me, his hand pushing at my legs so that I would fall over and I laughed, trying to stay in position.

“Dude, she has you wrapped around her finger” Cal pointed out and I laughed, shaking my head at them, it was the other way around, really. I would do anything for Ashton, I was so lost in him that I would literally do about anything to make him happy.

“Is that a bad thing?” Ash asked and I shook my head at him, but he was looking at Luke and Cal and Mikey.

“No because it’s Lia and she has us all wrapped around that pinkie of hers” Luke spoke up and I smiled over to the boy, his lip ring standing out against his pink lips and I wanted to pinch his cheeks at how cute he actually was.

“Thanks babes” I winked at him and he shook his head at me, a light blush tinting his cheeks and I laughed, looking over to Ash and he shook his head at me.

“Don’t go seduce Luke, he’ll die from your beauty” Ash scolded and I blushed, even though he compliments me like all die, all of the boys do, Luke compliments the chair if it looks good but I always found it so flattering that someone as amazing as Ashton could find me beautiful.

“You guys are too sweet, now, who’s getting candy for me?” I asked and all of them stood up, making all of us laugh at their eagerness and I wanted to hug all of them but that would mean getting up and I didn’t do that, that wasn’t in the plans for the next hour.

 

_And I’m sitting here in my bunk, and I can’t sleep, because I remember my favourite moments together._

_Like that time where you were super, super sick and I came over and we had a movie day. That was the day I realized I wanted to be more than just best friends._

“Ash, you really shouldn’t come over, I’m sick and you’re almost leaving on tour” I groaned into the phone, sniffling and coughing and I could hear Ash sighing at the other side of the line.

“No, I’m coming over, I’m your best friend and you’re sick” I shook my head but stopped when I felt my head move and that wasn’t a good idea.

“You’ll get sick” I tried again and I just heard him sigh over the line.

“No, it’s not like I’m kissing you or anything” I sighed, oh if only.

Ashton Irwin was my best friend, the best friend ever if you guys got it but that’s the thing, wonderfully handsome, sweet Ashton was just my best friend and here I was, in all of my ugly glory, wishing that he’d be something more than just my best friend but maybe my boyfriend. But the thing with Ashton was, was the fact that he was in this awesome, up and coming band, 5 Seconds of Summer, and they were a few weeks away from going on their biggest tour yet, they were going to open for 1D and that means the world for them because it’s just what they need to get out there and make them famous. 

Ashton was this person that I just loved being around, his infectious smile and excitement had me lost in him, people had to be blind to not see how lost I was for him, how I would do anything for him. Ashton must be blind because he hasn’t seen a single thing since I started liking him and I just wish he would say something, just do something.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes” He dropped the call and I groaned, dropping back into my pillow, my eyes slipping shut, I was dead on my feet and this cold was making me its bitch.

“Lia?” I heard Ashton a few seconds after I fell asleep, my eyes flipping open and I found Ashton’s face right in mine, my eyes widening, he gave me a warm smile when he leaned back.

“Awesome, you’re awake. I brought soup and ice cream and movies, those that make me groan that you like so much. There’s juice in here too. Who’s the best friend ever?” He asked and I wanted to get up and kiss him, how could one single human be this amazing.

“You are, you’re the best friend ever” He gave me this adorable smile, a giggle passing his lips and I never thought that a guy that giggled could be this cute but Ash was the exception on all of the rules.

“Yes I am, how’re you feeling?” His hand dropped onto my forehead and he frowned, I was running a fever and I knew I was not a pretty sight at the moment.

“We should get that fever broken” He disappeared through the door, returning a few minutes later with five more blankets, piling them onto me and I shuddered, I was still cold but the new blankets would help a whole lot.

“Sleep, I’ll be right here when you wake up” Ashton smiled and I sighed, dropping into a fitful sleep, my dreams filled with an Ashton with his straight hair and long fringe and his pushed up sleeves and tight jeans.

 

I woke up a few hours later with Ashton laying on the couch, his eyes focussed on the TV, The Notebook playing and I wanted to laugh but I was dying from the heat, I pushed all of the blankets off of me, dropping my sweat ridden jumper on the pile and sighed when the cool air hit my too hot body.

“Hey, how’re you feeling now?” He asked and I smiled.

“Hi, I’m a lot better now, thanks but you didn’t have to stay”

“Of course I had to stay, what would you do without me?”

“Probably die”

“My point exactly. You should go take a shower, you’ll feel a lot better and the steam will clear that chest you have” I coughed when he mentioned it and he smiled, his dimples appearing and I nodded, that sounded like the best idea ever.

We spent the rest of the day with my head rested in his lap and movies playing in the background and I found myself thinking that I could spend forever like that, with Ashton taking care of me and just being with each other.

It was an odd feeling falling in love with your best friend but it did feel like the best thing when he would smile at me like that and I would find myself shocked at how lost I could get just watching him talk and smile.

I hoped he could say the same thing.

 

_Then that night when we stayed out on the trampoline and you got so scared because it was windy. You made me hold you and I told you that I would always protect you. We could’ve gone inside, but I didn’t want to because sitting there with you in my arms. I could pretend that WE were real._

“We’re going to die” I decided, the wind was going crazy, picking up my long blonde hair and making it flip out behind me and Ashton’s hair was flipping over his face, hitting his cheeks and I wanted to run my hands through them, to put them back in their places but I knew I couldn’t do that.

“No we won’t” He shifted and I shifted on the trampoline, we were outside in his yard, the trampoline seemed like the best place to hang out for a while, while his mom was busy with Harry and Lauren, we didn’t expect the storm that was brewing outside when we sat down on the trampoline.

“You don’t know that” I shifted when the thunder started and I jumped, all but sitting down in his lap when more lightning lit up the sky.

“I do, Lia, do you want to sit in my lap?” He asked and I knew he was joking but that sounded like the best thing at the moment and I nodded. He laughed when I plopped down into his lap, his arms wrapping around me and I sighed, this is what I love about Ashton, we may be nothing but best friends at the moment but he still didn’t flinch to hold me when I was scared. He didn’t mind cuddling with me and I constantly found him cuddled with one of the other boys and I found myself in his arms a whole lot more now that he would be leaving for tour in a week.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving in a week” I spoke so that he could hear me over the wind and I felt his fingers tapping out a beat against my waist and I leaned back against him, I tried to ignore how good I fit in his lap, how I was just big enough that we fit in each other.

“Me neither, I wish I could pack you up in my bag and bring you with me” He spoke again and I wanted to laugh at how cheesy he was but I kind of wished the same thing.

“That’d be fun” Lightning struck again and I shouted, Ashton laughing and I gripped his arms and he shook his head.

“Lia, you’re safe, I’ll protect you” My heart dropped into my stomach and I wanted to turn around and kiss him right there and then but I didn’t, afraid of losing him, he was leaving in a week and I’d rather still have him as a friend rather than him running away because he didn’t feel the same way.

I mean, sure, we could have gone inside and just avoided all of this but I didn’t want to and at the back of my mind I knew Ashton didn’t want to go in either, we wanted to spend just a little more time together before he left to become a bigger star out there.

 

_Then came your birthday party, the one where we did the secret gifts. You had a bunch of your friends from school there, and while you were opening gifts, you got a diamond teardrop necklace. It was the one you had wanted for ages, but didn’t have enough money to buy. Weeks and weeks before, you showed me that necklace, fawning over it. So I decided, hey, why not? I put a note on the inside cover. And you saw it, looked up and smiled. So we met up in your room and I finally got the courage to ask you out on a real date, not just as friends. And you said yes. At that point in my life it was the happiest I had ever been._

My birthday fell in their first ever break, Ashton and the boys were home for just under a week and my birthday fell on the second last night of their stay before they left for the next leg of tour.

“You made it” I shouted over the talking of my friends in the apartment, my eyes landing on a very cute Ashton Irwin, he had been on tour for five months now, his hair cut and curly and his arms more muscled, from playing the drums every night now. He gave me the biggest smile, pulling me into a tight hug and we had seen each other earlier in their visit but it was still so nice to have him around, to actually touch him now and not just talk through a screen.

“Of course I did, I got you something” He held out the small box and I smiled.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, having you here is the best gift ever”

“Did you seriously just say that?” His grin was teasing and I laughed, shaking my head at him, pulling him into the flat.

“Yes I did, it’s my birthday and I get to be cheesy when I want to be” He laughed and agreed, I pulled him through the small crowd in my living room, introducing him to my friends from culinary school and he said hi to some of our friends from high school. Luke, Cal and Mikey had joined a few minutes later and the party was in full swing, the boys taking my flat over and partying like they were in Ibiza with Louis Tomlinson and I had a blast, laughing as the people cheered.

“Presents time!” My friends shouted, dropping me into the couch and handing me the gifts, most of them had a story behind them and I laughed with everyone at the more ridiculous gifts, like the signed 1D band merch Luke had gotten me, I had laughed because I actually knew the boys now and the gift got weird now.

“Luke is such a cheap gift giver” Cal laughed and I agreed but I still liked it because between the 1D merch, 5SOS merch stood out and I had been begging Ash for some shirts.

Everyone was so lost in talking with each other when I finally got to Ashton’s gift and he smiled when I grabbed it. My eyes widened when I found the teardrop diamond Tiffany’s necklace in the box, my eyes snapped up to Ashton and he shrugged.

_Let’s just make sure this is the only teardrop that you ever wear_

_Happy birthday, Lia_

I was so shocked he remembered. It had been one day before he left for tour, we were out shopping for clothes for him and we had passed Tiffany’s and I had been looking at the necklace for months before I showed him, I loved how pure and clean and gentle the teardrop looked and it looked like he wasn’t listening but boy, was I wrong.

I found him later that night, pulling him into my room. “Ash, thank you so much for the necklace” I smiled up at him and he gave me that smile that had my stomach in knots.

“I’m glad you liked it, I saw it when I was out shopping for your gift and I remember how crazy you were about it so I thought, hey, why not?” He was so cute, his eyes found mine and he shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal but to me it was, the necklace wasn’t cheap and he remembered one of the only necklaces that I liked and he went and got it for me because he knew how much I liked it.

“You didn’t have to buy it for me” I pointed out and he shook his head.

“No, I didn’t but I wanted to, I wanted to buy a beautiful girl a gift that was almost as beautiful as she was” My heart stopped for a second, my eyes widening at his words and he gave me that smile, that shy one that showed how truly nervous he was.

“Ash” I tried but he shook his head.

“Let me, I’m just so tired of holding back. Lia, you’re so beautiful and amazing and you’re my best friend but with tour and everything I just noticed that I can’t go a day without talking to you, I hate how much I miss having you around and I know you don’t like me like that and that you don’t see me as someone you could go out with but I really wish you did” My whole body froze and I watched as he ran his hands through his hair and how they hung restlessly against his sides and I took a deep breath, stepping up to him and taking his hands in mine.

“Ash, I wish you’d have said something earlier, I’m crazy about you” I choked and his eyes widened.

“What?”

“Ash, I like you too, so much” I tried again and suddenly Ashton had me pulled up to him, his arms around my waist and his lips on mine and I sighed at how everything just fell into place, at how everything just made sense all of a sudden and how I felt at home and safe with his arms around me and his lips against mine. When we broke apart his smile looked like it could split his face in half but I knew I was just as bad as him.

“Go out on a date with me?” He asked and I smiled, nodding my head and he smiled, kissing me again.

“I’d really like that” Our smiles had made it obvious to the rest of the band but I didn’t really care, between my birthday and the fact that Ashton was home and the part where we finally admitted our feelings for each other, it was definitely the best day ever at that point.

_Then skip forward a few months. To the time where your dog died. I know you hated that time and I was just as upset as you. But I saw that you trusted me enough to let me see you at your worst point. You trusted me, not just with your secrets, but with yourself. You trusted me enough to let me see a side of you that nobody else gets to see. And that meant the world to me._

“Ash?” I sobbed over the phone, my eyes were shut from crying so much and I was trying to stop the tears but they wouldn’t even subside for the few minutes I wanted to talk to Ashton.

“Lia, what’s wrong?” I could hear the worry in his voice and I sobbed even louder. Ashton had been on tour now for so long, three months since I last saw him and I wanted him here, right now.

“Marley” I sobbed through the line and I heard Ashton take a deep breath. Marley was my best friend, well he was my dog but he was my best friend and we were close, he was my shadow and I couldn’t believe he was gone now.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry” I didn’t even have to tell him anything, he just knew, he knew how worried I was about Marley and how he was getting worse and he knew how much I loved my dog.

“Could you talk to me? Please?” I whispered and I knew he was busy and I knew he couldn’t stay and talk but he shocked me, agreeing and I listened to him talk about his day and tour and about the fans and the music and I listened, slowly getting better with the crying.

“Lia, you can tell me about Marley if you want” He offered and I found myself talking to Ash about my first ever friend, Marley and I have been friends since I got him when I was maybe six, he was an old dog and I knew he didn’t have long left when he started to limp around, I just didn’t want to think about it.

I talked to Ashton, my phone died at one point and he just switched on Skype and we talked like that until we couldn’t anymore, when he had to go do sound check and perform but I felt better. Ashton had never seen me so vulnerable and so emotional but he didn’t mind one minute, just listened as I talked about Marley and our adventures.

“I have to go, but promise me you’ll call me when you feel bad again. I’ll see you in three weeks, even less.”

“I promised, three weeks seem so far away”

“They’ll fly by, you’ll see”

_Three weeks later, on April 19, we were sitting on the couch in my basement, and you were in leggings and one of my sweatshirts. You had the hood pulled up and you were trying to sleep through the sound of Harry and his friend playing upstairs. But you couldn’t sleep, so eventually you got up and grabbed your favourite book and came back to the couch. You sat back down and laid your legs over mine. But when you decided you weren’t comfortable. So you put the book down on the end table, then flipped around so your head was on my lap. I started playing with your hair, and you snuggled further into my chest. I smiled and said, “Hey, Lia?” You hummed and looked into my eyes. We just looked in each other’s eyes for a minute. “You know something?” I asked, and you tilted your head to the side, and I leaned down so my lips were almost touching, and I said “I love you” I heard your breath catch before you smiled, then brought my head down to your lips. And we could barely kiss because we were both smiling so much. Then you said you loved me too. And I was in complete bliss._

He was right, the three weeks had passed like nothing happened and I found myself relaxing with Ashton in his basement, I could hear Harry and his friend through the ceiling of the basement and I groaned, I was so done after the long day at the institute.

“You okay?” Ash asked from his spot on the couch, his legs were where my feet ended and he was reading through his phone, probably an email but much more likely just his twitter feed.

“Yeah, I’m just tired and Harry and his friend are making a ruckus” He chuckled at my choice of words, shaking his head when I pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over my head and tried to close my eyes again, I was close to dropping into a peaceful sleep when Harry and his friend dropped something just above us and I sighed, rolling off of the couch, grabbing my book and I dropped back down onto the couch, propping my feet in his lap and he just lifted his hands so that I could make myself comfortable.

I didn’t take long before I started shuffling around and I sighed, I wasn’t in the mood for the book and my neck was going into a spasm from the odd position I had tried, I grunted, dropping the book on the table and turning around on the couch. Dropping my head on Ashton’s lap, he stared down at me for a few seconds, going back to his phone and I finally closed my eyes. I felt his hands in my hair and I snuggled closer to his chest and he chuckled.

“Hey, Lia?” I hummed to make sure that he knew I was listening and when he didn’t say anything I opened my eyes and looked up at him, we stayed silent as we watched each other for a few minutes. Ashton had the most beautiful eyes and his skin was so soft and I could see that he was finally starting to grow out a beard and I knew he would be chuffed with the fact that I noticed but it didn’t feel like the time to point that out.

“You know something?” He asked and I tilted my head to the side, waiting for him to talk again and I felt him lean down, my breath catching as he neared me and I felt his warm breath against my cheek.

“I love you” My breath caught all over again and my body lighting up, he loved me? I felt the biggest smile ever catch on my lips and suddenly he was against me, our lips touching but our smiles were too big and it was almost impossible to kiss and when he pulled away, I smiled all over again.

“I love you too, Ash, so much” He smiled again and I had a glimpse of what true happiness could be, I could see it in the way that Ashton  was smiling at me and I hoped that he could see it in my eyes because I have never been as happy as that moment.

_Then one month later, you loved me enough to let me take your virginity away. And that was the most special night of my life. Again, your trust in me astounded me. And it was the same way for me. I trust you more than I trust myself._

_“_ Are you sure?” Ash asked, he was standing naked above me, his chest glistening with sweat in the cold air of the room and I nodded up at him. He was so soft and gentle with me as he slid in, my breath catching at the foreign feeling in my abdomen.

Ashton had gone slow and gentle and he had been so passionate as he took me in his arms, his face close to mine as he slowly made love to me.

“I love you” He breathed against my lips and I knew I loved him, I hoped that I would only get to love him because I’d forever be happy with loving him, with trusting him with every last aspect of me.

“Ash” I breathed as I felt myself fall apart and he followed soon after me, his head dropping down into the crook of his neck, his breath warm against my chest and I didn’t even care about it, I felt him turn me around and I smiled up at him when I laid out against his chest. Naked in all of the best ways possible.

“You okay?” He asked and I nodded.

“I’m fine, Ash, really. Thank you, for this, for being my first”

“And hopefully your last” And I hoped for that, that I would only get to love Ashton, that we’d spend our lives together because I couldn’t imagine anyone else in the spot I had created for Ashton in my heart and in my life.

_And I guess I just wanted to say that I miss you so much. I’m counting down the days until I get home and am able to hold you in my arms again. I want you to get “mad” at me for scaring you. And I want to eat your cooking again. And I want to see you wearing my clothes, even the ones I was planning on wearing. And I want to watch you read books. And I want you to run your fingers through my hair when we’re snuggling on our too-small-couch. And most of all, I just want to tell you how much I love you in person. I hate how there has to be a screen between us. Because all I really want to do is be with you. And now there’s 1 month, 5 days, 17 hours, 23 minutes and 36 seconds until I get to see you again. and I just wanted to say that I love you, and I never stop thinking about you._

“You’re not allowed to be that cute, Ash”

“Did it make you smile?”

“It made me miss you even more”

“I’m sorry”

“No, it’s fine, because I thought about all of our great times together and I just realised, I love you even more now”

“I love you, so much, 1 month, 5 days, 10 hours, 46 minutes and 12 seconds”

“You’re just reading off that count down app you have on your phone”

“Pretend I don’t have it, now it’s a lot more romantic”

“Urgh, you’re such a fucking geek”

“Hey, no swearing!”


End file.
